I have been thinking about the actual race day a lot lately, since it seems to be rocketing with alarming speed towards me. Along with sometimes paralyzing anxiety, I have been getting very excited and emotional about the idea of actually completing this goal and truly beginning a new chapter in my life. When I am in this mindset, I think of things that I want to remember on July 26th. So, instead of saving them all for one long post, I decided to start jotting them down as I think of them. Here are the first few:
—There is only one first race. Only this time will I feel the same extreme satisfaction of completion, the same sense of newness, the same confusion, and all the other emotions that go along with doing something for the first time. I want to remember to enjoy that feeling and remember to remember it.
—This is only a cometition against myself, no one else. My finishing time is not important. Next time I do this, I can try and beat my first time. This time, the goal is to cross the finish line with a smile. It doesn’t matter who comes before me or after me, just that I get there in one piece.
—I am stronger than I think I am. This is going to get hard. I am going to be hot, swollen, fatigued, hungry, and possibly in pain at points. But that’s ok. I have to learn to find that reserve of energy and push through. If this wasn’t hard, it wouldn’t be worth it.