Posted by: libbith | June 19, 2009

To My Future Self

I have been thinking about the actual race day a lot lately, since it seems to be rocketing with alarming speed towards me.  Along with sometimes paralyzing anxiety, I have been getting very excited and emotional about the idea of actually completing this goal and truly beginning a new chapter in my life.  When I am in this mindset, I think of things that I want to remember on July 26th.  So, instead of saving them all for one long post, I decided to start jotting them down as I think of them.  Here are the first few:

There is only one first race. Only this time will I feel the same extreme satisfaction of completion, the same sense of newness, the same confusion, and all the other emotions that go along with doing something for the first time.  I want to remember to enjoy that feeling and remember to remember it.

This is only a cometition against myself, no one else. My finishing time is not important.  Next time I do this, I can try and beat my first time.  This time, the goal is to cross the finish line with a smile.  It doesn’t matter who comes before me or after me, just that I get there in one piece.

I am stronger than I think I am.  This is going to get hard.  I am going to be hot, swollen, fatigued, hungry, and possibly in pain at points.  But that’s ok.  I have to learn to find that reserve of energy and push through.  If this wasn’t hard, it wouldn’t be worth it.

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