I’ve learned, so far in my running, that a lot of what I thought was true about my ideal exercise situations is completely untrue. For example, I thought the treadmill was easier and more motivating for me than running outside. Quite the opposite. Similarly, I thought it would be impossible for me to run in the cold. In fact, I’d rather run in 25 degrees than 60 (and am dreading the heat and humidity). The main reason I wanted to do Team in Training was, well, because it was a TEAM. I figured that working out with other people would take my mind off of what I was doing and that it would help motivate me to have other people doing the same thing around me. Whether that is true or not, I seem to have gotten myself into a pattern where I would much rather run alone.
On Sunday, as we always try and do, my boyfriend and I went for a run. He runs a lot faster than me (by a lot I mean, I ran about a 10:30 mile in our recent race, he ran a 9:40something). I HATE that. HATE. I thought I was going to be better at this than him and it drives me crazy that we’re not at least equal. Yes, I realize he’s a man. Yes, I realize everyone is different. Yes, I realize that it doesn’t matter how long it takes you, as long as you’re doing it. But, when we run together, all that falls out the window. If he runs his normal speed, I am whining in my head the whole time about how far ahead he is. And I get pissed at him. If he runs next to me, I am whining the whole time out loud that he isn’t getting a good enough work out and that it is still really hard for me. And I get pissed at him. It is just not a good situation. And this is not only supposed to be fun, but something that we do together. He is, for the most part, doing this to support me and spend time with me and, to thank him, I make both of us miserable. I have to work on that. I also have to get over the fact that every runner around me makes me feel inadequate. I am not going to enjoy GTS (group training sessions) if I don’t work on this before March 1st.
So, instead of fixing the problem, I ran alone on Monday (granted, I didn’t have an option as everyone else is at work at 3 in the afternoon during the week). It was a pretty good run. Instead of doubling back on my route, as I normally do, I decided to turn east, away from the water, and make an almost complete loop home. Despite it being a fairly good run, that was a mistake. Having to wait for a light to change to cross the street kinda disturbs my rhythm. Surprisingly enough.
Even though this wasn’t my favorite route ever, I do need to start shaking things up a bit. I’m finding that, the better I know my route, the harder it is for me to go into a zone and forget about what I’m doing. I so love running by the Statue of Liberty and next to the water though.